From En-Femme
Onnalee's Bag

Speaking with a young woman who was expecting her first child within a week, she allowed as how she felt fine but was afraid of the childbirth process. It had been a LONG time since my first birthing, but I recall precisely how anxious I was about the delivery. Decades of sneering derision from my mother when I writhed in the grips of Menstrual cramps had me half paralyzed with fear; how would 1 comport myself' when confronted with the delivery room team and the need to somehow cope with the pain of giving birth, My obstetrician was of little help; a very popular and fashion- able fellow, albeit extremely competent and skilled, but nonetheless a MAN lacking in explicit personal experience of that which I was to undergo. When I finally communicated my anxiety, his response was in terms of' the hundreds, if not thousands, of' babies he had successfully delivered; I retorted "Not MINE!". Then he stopped, sat down, really listened and TALKED to me. Yet it was my husband's ex-high-school-girl-friend, then married with two kids of her own, who understood and made the most complete and honest explanation of what to expect and how the process would work and feel that gave me confidence and courage, though the knuckles were white. also recall, about half-way through the labor of that first delivery, announcing that "I don't want to do this anymore!")

What's this got to do with Beta Gamma? At the Tuesday Night Social Club meeting we attended November fourth in Red Wing, the subject of a wife attending her first Beta Gamma meeting with her husband and seeing OTHER men crossdressed was raised with the comment that the prospect created a great sense of anxiety. I was immediately reminded of the afternoon's conversation with the young about-to-deliver mother, and recognized that the anxiety I had felt 37 years ago was not so different from that I had felt as we approached our first 'crossdressers' meeting,

Each subsequent delivery of our other two children was almost as nervous making, but at least I had some idea of what I was to undergo. As some wise wag put it, "each child is a do-it-yourself project. You will know how to do it "right" after it is all done and you no longer need to work at it." I am suggesting that each meeting, from the behavior I am seeing, may probably be the same kind of' road for you. It is not surprising that each confrontation with a spouse/ partner about what you do may have the same effect on her.

White knuckles and all, This is why it is so necessary to talk and deal with the phenomenon as frequently and as honestly as possible. It is also why I strongly applaud and recommend the idea of the Beta Gamma First Tuesday Night Social Club (until we can find a simpler versioned name.) Joann and Sofronia Anne colluded to push this. It is a "right" thing to do, However anxious you may feel about meeting nights, your wife/partner is probably more so. But because she loves you and wants you to be happy, she extends herself and tries to understand (73% of wives who know about this try to be tolerant and understanding. this is a quote from a talk Jane Ellen Fairfax gave at SPICE V,) She watches or even helps you spend money on elegant clothing and accessories of a sort she may not even have in her own closet. Maybe she even assists you in dressing (few do,) certainly gives considered opinions and guidance when you ask. But it FEELS like a one way street, 'The benefits to her are abstract and removed, Getting her to COME to a Beta Gamma meeting with you is "just too much".

Joann suggests that meeting Beta Gamma members in a quietly elegant venue with full attention to the value of being MEN escorting women for an evening out is a way to lower the resistance, I suggest that such gatherings will work not only for those whose partners HAVE attended Beta Gamma meetings, as a way of expressing appreciation for their acceptance, but as a way to loosen the knots of anxiety of those wives who are still too fearful and uncertain to do so. And for those of you who have yet to "come out" to your partners, this might help ease the way.