What it Takes

My wife Cathy has been keeping a sort of running tally in her head of the posts to the CDSO list about the type of women that it takes to accept CDing.

The answer to the question is very simple and not at all as profound as you may expect. Of course this is just her opinion and the result of her mental note taking but here goes...

A wife who can accept cding..

1. She is educated. No I don't mean college. I mean life. She's been farther than her front door. She has met people. Learned about them. Learned about herself. She knows that learning only stops when she dies.

2. She knows how to put things in perspective. No that does not mean she will take seconds. She doesn't rate things that way. She knows what is "big" and what is "little". You know, a heart attack is big, a broken arm is little. It comes from the education.

3. She knows how to communicate and she wants to communicate. No that does not mean perfectly all the time. She is only human.

4. She has a reason to understand and accept cding. No it is not a study project. It is much more personal. There is someone who she loves. Yes, maybe more on some days than others.

5. She is independent. Maybe she can live on her own but she CHOOSES not to live on her own. She comes into this relationship willingly or she stays willingly. She knows there are other options but this is what she wants and is willing to work on it. To make the relationship something she wants it to be. Something she can say she is a participant too, not a spectator.

6. She is selfish. At least that is what the stereotype would label her. She expects as much as she gives. (see number 2) If she is going to work on understanding her man (and that is what understanding cding really is), then she expects him to understand her and to treat her in other ways that approach the 50/50 mark. (Pretty radical stuff to some not familiar with number 1).

So where does that leave each of your wives and SO's , only each knows their own specifics. But in our opinion, this is as general as it gets. And the only thing we know of that is totally accepting of what happens to it, is a rug and it still will trip someone now and then.

Life is not a finished work of art, it is the blank canvas and the paints.

This is an extract of Cathy's e-mail to the CDSO list and I take no credit for it. It is her work...

Michelle