If life were a
salad, we would want more than just the "dressing." We would want the
bacon bits, the croutons, the cheese (okay, maybe not the cheese.) Eventually
the time comes for some of us when we are no longer content with just sitting
around somewhere private in our fabulousness itching to be out there somewhere
being fabulous. What do we do? We go to the bar, (not that bar, the salad bar!)
and scoop the bacon bits, the croutons, and yes, even the cheese onto our plain
boring salad with the "dressing"! Here are some ideas, in no
particular order:
1. JOIN A GROUP.
Not just any kind of group. Join a Transgender (TG) group. They are good for
social contacts and support. For this we use the term Transgender to describe
the full range of individuals whose gender identity (INCLUDING EXPRESSION) is
their own standard, not reflective of society's narrow standards of gender and
sex. Under this term we have the cross-dressers, transsexuals, transvestites,
drag queens, male to female, female to male, and so on. Example, in Los Angeles,
at Asian Pacific AIDS Intervention Team (visit http://go.to/apait),
we have an HIV Prevention program targeting Asian and Pacific Islander
Transgenders. Once a month we go to a restaurant near a popular TG club (Club
Pumps at 7969 Santa Monica Boulevard), have coffee, something to eat, and talk
about health issues, relationships, dating, safer sex, employment, and anything
else that affects our lives. Then we go to the club next door and hang out some
more!
2. TAKE MANY PICTURES.
When I was in high school my best friend and I would ditch, I mean, do home
study, put on make-up, dress up in her apartment, and take many pictures. Then
we'd run to the one-hour photo shop around the corner to get them developed. Of
course, we'd have some ice cream across the street while we waited. Then we'd
bug the guy behind the photo counter to speed it up but to cover up the pictures
so the old lady and her granddaughter by the window waiting for their laundry to
dry wouldn't see them. It might make the little girl cry! We would laugh at
ourselves, point out each otherŐs flaws, and note how scary the other looks.
Then we do it again a month, a week, or a day later each time perfecting our
blank model gaze and poses. We'd improve on our hair, make-up, and clothing too.
Now we all have the option to post our best pics on the Internet either on your
own site or someone else's like Miss Vicki Rene's Prettiest of The Pretty Web
Site at www.vickirene.com.
3. GO TO A PARTY.
Many parties happen around town. If you are a member of a social organization,
there is always a party somewhere. You just have to be informed. If there is no
party then have one! Plan it. Invite your friends. And party on! Having a
birthday party? Make it a costume party! Just make sure that you are not going
to be the only one dressed up. Try to do it around April 1 or October 31 if you
are not yet comfortable just dressing up because there is a party. Even if you
are not gay, lesbian, or transgender identified you can still attend your local
GLBT Center events. (B stands for Bisexual, you know the rest). Usually these
places are very accommodating to the occasional women some of us are. Attend
their fundraisers so you can wear your evening gown and the freshly curled
off-the-shelf hair of yours. Make sure you make a donation too so they will
invite you for the next soiree.
4. MARCH!
Have you heard of those GLBT Pride Parades? Go march with them! One reason
mainstream America is not sensitive or aware of TG issues or that we exist is
because they do not see us or they do not want to see us. I was so afraid to
march at my very first GLBT parade! Therefore, I decided to go
over-the-top-exotic so people will not have anything to say but
"Fabulous!" That hot summer Sunday noon (would you believe I missed
church that day?) I walked miles in platforms, a beaded bra, a gold sarong (look
it up in the encyclopedia), a crown, and yards and yards of gold fabric! Two
other "girls" walked with me in equally fabulous gold outfits. Ever
since then, I started acknowledging the presence of TG's in these parades no
matter what their sexual orientation is. It just shows support for the community
and the struggle for acceptance and goes far to promote diversity. Plus they get
instant gratification from the cheers of the parade watchers!
5. ENTER A PAGEANT.
What? Am I crazy? No sweetie, you, yes YOU, can enter a pageant. I did not say
win a pageant, I said enter. I have entered numerous pageants where all I wanted
was to look fabulous and be seen by lots of people. A lot of them I did not win.
Who knows, you may just take home the trophy, tiara, or if you are lucky, that
crown! (There is a difference between a tiara and a crown). There are numerous
pageants that happen in a year from just lip-syncing, or just evening gown and
interview, to full on "Miss Universe" type pageants. I am not sure
what they are in the east coast but I will ask my friend Connie Lingus and I
will report back next time.
In Los Angeles there are several pageants held by the Imperial
Court of LA/Hollywood. There is the cocktail dress, evening gown, and interview
for Mr. & Miss Sweetheart Pageant (Spring), Mr. & Miss Gay Pride (Early
Summer), Show Queen & Show King, the new pageant Millennium Queen (Early
Fall), and the tried-and-true national costume, evening gown, and interview
pageant called Queen of The Universe, in the Fall. There is the Night of 100
Gowns (just evening gowns and the spotlight) and The Best Female Impersonator
both produced by Lito Torres of a Company of Friends. In San Francisco, there is
the annual Model Search by my friend Griselda (check out www.ModelFile.net
and order the 1999 and 2000 tape because I'm in it) and the Queen of The World
held at the magnificent Palace of Fine Arts. You would have to do research in
your areas, especially the clubs (no matter how small the clubs or bars, a lot
of them have their pageants).
Some more about me... In 1997, I won my first tiara via the Miss
Buddah Lounge title. It is a gay Asian and friends club in West Hollywood. All I
did was lip sync to the song "All By Myself" (Celine Dion remake),
threw confetti in the air, stabbed myself with a fake knife complete with
squirting fake blood, fell on the stage with my eyes open, and the half naked
guy next to me pretended he was crying. At first, the audience did not know if
they should call 911 or cry. Then when the applause rolled in the promoter
Robert Corrado pretty much said that I won. My co-workers said they applauded
because when my character died and fell they were able to see the half naked guy
emoting behind me.
Okay, back to the topic. My other friend Kim Carver, or soon to be
referred to as publicity-ho (like me), is preparing for the upcoming Queen of
The World. She enjoys wearing those elaborate costumes, gowns, cocktail dresses,
and sexy swimsuits. She has chosen pageants as the savory and crunchy bacon bits
on what she feels is her less than lively salad with Thousand Island dressing. I
am about to run out of pageants to enter before they ban me from competing. I am
planning to help produce my own kind of pageant. I will not be allowed to enter
but at least I can share my experience with the contestants and most likely host
the event and change evening gowns more times than I have teeth (which my
dentist Dr. Delfin Tio of Angeles Crest Dentistry in Glendale had carefully
taken care of! Promo #22).
So check out the salad bar, choose your bacon bits well and chew!
Chew! Chew!
Asia Vitale (asiavitale@hotmail.com)