I will start with a letter to someone more famous than I, but from someone who speaks with a valid point:
Dear Ann Landers: Your letter about the woman whose husband was a
cross-dresser was right on target. People often are afraid of those who are
different, whether the difference is racial, religious or gender. That is why
minorities are the target of so much discrimination. Cross-dressers need
protection from discrimination as much as any other minority.
The woman who wrote said her husband only recently
discovered he was a cross-dresser. This is not unusual. Many of us cross-dress
as children or teens but suppress the desire as we grow older. By the time we
reach our 40s, the suppression can create deep anger and frustration. My wife is
tolerant of my cross-dressing but not particularly understanding. We are in
counseling, trying to keep our marriage together. By the way, Ann, we prefer
"cross-dresser," not transvestite. Transvestite is a label coined by
the psychiatric profession and implies that we are sick.
-- Joann in N.Y.
Dear N.Y.: I'm sure your letter educated a lot
of people today. P.S. I would not use the word "sick," but
cross-dressing is definitely a deviation from the norm.
Date: Sun, 31 Mar 2002
Subject: Confused
Hi Jenelle,
My name is Charlie, I am in search of some sort of information. I have always wore female
attire since I can remember. I'm 46 now and still a virgin. About 85% of the time I feel more comfortable with women, and that is a conservative
'age. I feel, I want to be a female so bad, I want to bare children. I don't know what to do, night after night I have this empty feeling deep inside. It's a feeling that makes you wonder why? Why go on, why keep fighting, and what for, too just look like a female? What I need to know is if there is a way to be (a real female).
Sorry sweetie, you just gotta learn to live with cards were dealt with the when we were born with . Some of course chose to have taken a different course, if you can afford to choose other options and there are a multitude of other factors as well, then seek medical council first. Please get yourself a therapist, first of all and see him of\or her as often as you need. This person should already be knowledgeable in TG issues because you do nor want to be have be the training ground for a "newbie".
Good luck to you!
Jenelle,
I have always, since childhood, preferred feminine things and liked the company of girls more than boys. The boys usually got into trouble and I did not like punishment. I always gawked over girls clothing, from a young age, and well before it could become a sexual thing. I played around with my mothers clothing and loved to get into my grandmothers closet as she had tons of shoes. I liked shoes. Today I have around 100 pairs!
From under 12 years of age, I always wished I were a girl and prayed to God that when I woke up I could be a woman like on Petticoat Junction (a sitcom from the 1970's) but I always woke up a boy. Years Later, at 18, I ask my girlfriend if she would help me buy a pair of woman’s shoes that were very popular at the time. They were a pair of thong sandals, not the flip flop things but the nicer ones that had the strap between the toes and the strap over the top of the foot and around the heel. I was embarrassed about it and had to explain that I just liked them. Eventually I had an entire woman’s outfit but did not have a wig or makeup yet.
To save you from having to read a book, I will move up to today at my present 43 years of age. I am still a cross dresser and will never stop. I am sick and tired of being put down by society for doing something there is nothing wrong with. I love women and I am married to a wonderful one but women are the biggest cross dresser’s of all time!
They can do anything they want, cut their hair short, wear any article of clothing designed since the dawn of time, any shoes, any color and all that is said to them is, boy that looks great, oh I like your hair! When women do it, it is called fashion, when men do it we are called fags, perverts and a another word I hate that makes it sound like a disease, a transvestite. I was looking at one of my women’s clothing catalog's and they have clothing with a mans look and shoes called menswear. Why don’t we have a mans catalog with women’s wear? Why do they get away with it? Just in my lifetime I can remember women wearing dresses and skirts only, just watch some older movies or television.
I realize that I can never really be a woman but what does boil my blood is the fact that I do not have the same freedom of expression that a woman does in how I dress.
Yes, I can put on my dress and go to the mall but people will laugh, point and make your life a living hell unless of course it is Halloween and then you can get away with it. I have been to the mall fully dressed on Halloween several times over the last few years. I start my Christmas shopping this way at Kenwood Mall in a dress with wig and sandals on and all twenty of my nails painted bright red and in full view! I have a great time and the other people enjoy it too. I even had the woman in Helzberg-Diamonds take a picture of me! I know they think I am doing this because it is Halloween but it still exposes them to it and to us. What bothers me is that I have never seen anyone else do this on the one day you can definitely get away with it. I know that some have done this other than me. Men are a big problem. Women will more often than not, in my experience, only accept our dressing but men are so uncomfortable with themselves that they are the first ones to point the finger. Years ago I don’t remember men wearing bracelets, necklaces and earrings like they do today, but men will also be quick to point out that the necklace or bracelet that they have on that is exactly like there wife’s is a CHAIN.
If some of these guys today were to be sent back in time like in Star Trek they would be tar and feathered at the least and quite possibly beaten to a bloody stump! So things have changed from how they were, so let’s start changing it even more. Get your clothes on and get out in public and demand change. I don’t even buy men’s clothes anymore. When I go out in public my clothing is about 90% female or is at least bought out of a women’s clothing catalog. My jeans are women’s, and I buy women’s polo shirts, wear some jewelry, like rings, which get some looks but they get over it. It is very easy to find shoes that are women’s, but are not very femme looking like a pump and the only people who usually notice the difference are women but normally I don’t get any looks. I wear hose and even paint my nails but I use colors that are not too right and in the summer I wear certain ladies sandals with my toenails painted. That does get a look once in a while, but I did once see a young guy with men’s sandals on and he had his nails painted light metallic blue. I wanted to shake his hand and buy him dinner! I do wear some makeup, a lot but it can be seen from close. I know some of you not are totally in the closet but many of you out there can make a difference. Start small and see what you can do and maybe on day we can have freedom to dress as we like the same way women do.
~Debbie
You go girl!
Jenelle
Hello :-)
I have just recently struck up an On-line friendship with a TV Male, who put me
onto your web page. His name is "Monica" and has helped me understand how HE is
as a Person. I have a lot of respect for him, especially as he is "OUT" and
recognizes his true self. I have been enjoying your Site and find it very
enlightening. I sure hope that other people visit it. There is definitely a need
for more understanding in this world.
Incidentally, I'm 17/female/bi.
Good luck, God be with you.
Cher
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9/2002